What is a Man? Reprise

The Story Up to Now

The Prelude.  The opening stage of a work, usually musical, but not always.  It begins with a central theme and begins to build upon that theme as one advances.  It starts somewhere.  For me, this started here:

http://voguemind.blogspot.com/2012/07/mans-world-attempt-2.html

This post. A dream. A question.  The decision to embark on a quest.  A quest to define Man.



As the prelude blends into the first movement, a certain cadence is established--unique, yet still true to the central theme of the piece.  
In Exposition I, we discovered how men have been defined through music, literature and popular culture.  Some of our sources value the pleasure a man can bring.  Some notice the honor of a man.  Thanks to the efforts of a comrade in this quest, we also learned that a man needs maturity and control.  However, we also saw that man can be seen as deceitful, and that not every definition of man we have is a good one. This exposition concluded with these steps towards learning what Man should be.  


This quest crescendoed into another Exposition.  This one explored Man through the lenses of three different cultures- the cultures of Mexico, South Africa and China.  We learned through macho men, South African women, and the Chinese "manly temperament," that Manhood is often linked with dominance.  We also learned that this quest for defining a man has been an age-long and global effort.  


...I've noticed that in music, the second movement is not as fast or as intense as the first (case study-Beethoven Sonata no. 8 Pathetique).  This seems to have happened in this quest as well, since an Exposition III did not follow, but rather an Intermission.  A friend had posted a Youtube video concerning how people are subconsciously teaching men to dominate women rather than work with them.  I wanted to share.  

To conclude this period of Intermission, this Reprise is replaying our original theme as it connects the previous movement to that theme through the intermission.  This Thursday, I begin a Cadre.  We will meet once a week and discuss the final leg of my quest.  

This Cadre will be the third movement and Exposition III: Biblical Manhood.  We will be  going through the book "Tender Warrior" by Stu Weber and discussing what it means to be a Biblical man in today's society. We will discuss topics such as,

"Four Pillars of Manhood",

"A Man and His Leadership",

"A Man and His Lady",

"Real Men Stand Together", etc.

Together we will discuss the ups and downs of being a man in today's world and seek to help each other to see this subject from God's perspective as outlined in the Bible. 



Thank you for joining me on this quest.

What is a Man? Intermission

A friend shared this on facebook.  I think it's an interesting exposition between manhood and movies.

What Is a Man? Exposition II

CULTURE, CULTURE, CULTURE

*Warning! This post is pretty long!*

This is interesting.  "Being a man" means different things in different cultures.  In this exposition, I delved into a couple of cultures and discovered each culture's definition of man. Now, be aware that what I will talk about in this post is the predominant or major characteristic of manhood in said culture.  However, also be advised that sometimes it is not the only view on the subject.  With that being said, let's begin with...

Mexico
Mexico is the home of the "macho" man. Yes, you've probably heard of the macho man.  Well, the word "macho" comes from the Spanish word "macho," which comes from the Latin "mascŭlus", which means "male."  And in Hispanic culture, that's what it's about: the male.  The man is the head of the house, and he is proud of it.  The woman should stay home and make sure that woman's work is done (the dishes should be washed, the laundry should be done, no surface should be dusty, meals should be quickly prepared for the man of the house.)  The man goes out to "provide" for the family, bringing food and money into the house.  He must be seen as the one calling the shots, the wife should be subserviant.  Marital tension comes about if the woman goes out to hang out with friends or even to work.  Women really shouldn't be in the workplace, and it's shameful for a man to have a female boss.  Also, being macho also has some things to do with being able to conquer a woman.  The more the better.  This is Machismo, or "macho-ism," in which the man is essentially all that matters. 

This is a lot to take in!  I really do feel for the women in these cultures.  However, it seems this cultural view is slowly on the decline.  With more and more women working places, women are starting to be seen differently.  And then there's the media.

Televisa, a Mexican television network, has an ongoing telenovela (soap opera) called Por Ella Soy Eva (For Her, I am Eva).  This series is about a man named Juan Carlos Caballero, who works at Grupo Imperio, or the Imperial Group.  He is a man, with many physical conquests to boast about and a very macho outlook on life.  However, he falls in love with a woman he met named Helena after he disguised himself to try and steal her ludicrous project idea for a tourist attraction.  He starts to change for her when suddenly, he's framed for a multi-million dollar embezzlement and he's getting chased off a cliff by the police.  So he's believed to be dead, even though he got out and survived before the accident.  Now living incognito, Juan Carlos takes on yet another disguise and becomes Eva María León Jaramillo in order to stay close to Helena while finding evidence to prove his innocence. 

I tell the story of this drama because Juan Carlos, now having to wear heels and a wig, has to see life from a woman's perspective in the culture he once embraced.  It's really interesting to see how he reacts to the way men treat him(her) and how he changes.  I think it's good that this series is out because it seems to shed light on the issue of machismo.  People across Mexico will have to think about the way things are and whether or not they should stay that way.  If you can understand extensive Spanish, you should look for this series.  You might like it.

So, the big point about the definition of man according to Mexico is domination.  I think that's a good word.  Men must be in control of everything-their household, their work positions, other women. Domination. Boom.




 South Africa
In South Africa, there are a couple of ways to become a man.  Apparently, circumcision is the norm.  However, if for some reason or another one is not circumcised, he must prove his manhood by raping a girl.  That's right.  He's got to rape a girl.  According to crime statistics (provided below), South Africa leads the whole world in rape.  Here are a couple of statements I kept finding:

- "A woman in South Africa is more likely to be raped than learn to read."
- "A woman was raped in South Africa every 17 seconds"
-"Rape is an expression of male sexual entitlement," said Jewkes. "South Africa is an immensely patriarchal society. The history of the country has shaped the dominant forms of South Africa's racially defined masculinities."

This is pretty sad.  No. It's not.  This is incredibly upsetting.  (In addition to all this, there is also a significant percentage of baby rapes because "according to legend,"  Having a physical relationship with a virgin will cure HIV/AIDS.  However, it seems that the majority of other rapes occur as a rite of passage into manhood.)

So, that's  what it means to become a man according to South African tradition. 

I would like to stay on the topic of South Africa, but move away from manhood for a little while to say that there is hope for women.  I came across some articles (below) about a man who raped a girl when he was a boy in order to become a man.  However, he felt very bad for most of his life, so he actually tracked her down many many years later to apologize.  The woman said she would try to forgive him, and she charged him with telling others how bad it is to rape people.  So people, let's pray for  Dumisani Rebombo as he goes about his task.  Let's pray for South Africa.
Articles:
-http://www.mg.co.za/article/2009-07-09-in-south-africa-rape-is-linked-to-manhood/
-http://www.thebody.com/content/art52662.html
-http://www.cnn.com/2012/05/05/world/africa/south-africa-rape/index.html
Stats:
-http://www.saps.gov.za/statistics/reports/crimestats/2011/crime_situation_sa.pdf
-http://www.rape.co.za/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=875:rape-statistics-south-africa-a-worldwide-2010&catid=65:resources&Itemid=137

 

China

I found a book by David Gilmore entitled Manhood in the Making: Cultural Concepts of Masculinity.  I found this book pretty helpful.  It describes the elements of "being a man" in a couple of different cultures.  I will use it to talk about China (if you are interested in any other of these cultures, you can probably find this book at any nearby college library.)

Even in China, culture dictates that a man should be "dominant."  However, unlike other cultures, this domination is not necessarily seen through the conquest of women or man-centered machismo.  Rather, Manhood is defined in China by Independence and Honor.  Here's what Gilmore wrote in his book:

"The ideal man, according to their informants, must display 'courage, self-confidence,' and other attribues of what the people refer to as ' manly temperament...'This term...is loosely described as having to do with moral bravery and initiative in the workplace.  A 'real man' is disciplined and independent, especially of women...He is never a complainer, a clinger, or a toady.  (Gilmore 171)"

Gilmore goes on to describe that "manly temperament" consists of three things:

1)Firmness/Decisiveness-Important for making choices

2)Strength-Both physical and mental

3)Devotion to Work-"most distinguising" quality

Men must also respect elders, especially those in their families. 

As silly as this may sound, this reminds me of Disney's Mulan.  Everything that matters is family honor.  In Fa Zhou, one can see the firmness, strength (mental, his physical strength is waning) and devotion of a man.  In "I'll make a man out of you," all of the men from the training camp are obviously still learning to become men: Their decisiveness is shaky, their strength is low and they are not very devoted to their task until the end of the song. 

So there you have it.

Mexico, South Africa, China.  These places are on different parts of the globe, yet now we see that the quest for becoming a true man is one the entire human race is a part of. As we can now see, there are many different approaches right now.  Let's see if in the posts to come I can manage to connect them all! 

In the mean time, pray for these places, so that true manhood can be discovered, spread and embraced.  I mentioned South Africa already, but also, pray for Mexico and China.  Pray for the men.  Pray for the women. 

Until next time.

What Is a Man? Exposition I

MUSIC, LITERATURE, POPULAR CULTURE

So. Upon my first google search, I found a lot of material.  As I had imagined, this question has been around for a while, and people have tried to answer it in many ways.  I found a couple of songs about what a man looks like, two of which I have decided to mention here.  

First, I found "whatta man" by Salt n Pepa.  In this song, the singer describes what makes her man a man.  A lot of it is very on-the-surface and does cover what a lot of people think a man should be...

...My man is smooth like Barry, and his voice got bass
A body like Arnold with a Denzel face... 

...My man gives real loving that's why I call him Killer
He's not a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am, he's a thriller
He takes his time and does everything right
Knocks me out with one shot for the rest of the night
He's a real smooth brother, never in a rush
And he gives me goose pimples with every single touch

Spends quality time with his kids when he can
Secure in his manhood cuz he's a real man
A lover and a fighter and he'll knock a knucker out
Don't take him for a sucker cuz that's not what he's about
Every time I need him, he always got my back
Never disrespectful cuz his mama taught him that...
http://www.lyricsdepot.com/salt-n-pepa/whatta-man.html

So.  According to these guys, it's important that a man be physically attractive and skilled in pleasing his lady friend.  That's the biggest thing for these people.  

There's also some attention towards being strong without being violent, and there's a tinge of what feels like faithfulness  and respect in this man, but most of this song is about... something.

I find it interesting that he only spends time with his kids "when he can," but he seems to have plenty of time to pleasure the singer enough so that more babies might come into the picture.

Moving on... I found another song by a group called "The Four Tops"

A man can walk proudly down in the street  

A man’s not ashamed of what he believes  

He knows how to laugh, he knows when to cry  

He knows how to live, he’s not afraid to die
 

What is a man? What is a man? What is a man? What is a man?
 

A man searches for the key to success  

He’d rather be sure than make a wild guess  

He knows how to love, he knows how to hate  

He knows when to move and he knows just when to wait

 
What is a man? What is a man? What is a man? What is a man?

 
A man can be angry and still hold his tongue  

A man don’t give up till the battle is won  

He knows how to win, he’s not ashamed to lose  

He knows his destiny, he doesn’t take long to choose

 
What is a man? What is a man? What is a man? What is a man?
What is a man? Just what is a man? What is a man?
http://www.metrolyrics.com/what-is-a-man-lyrics-four-tops.html 
   

I liked this song a lot better.  It explored the characteristics of a man more extensively than the previous one did.  And I'll leave it at that.  

 Let's move on to Literature.  In my preliminary search on Google, I found a part of Shakespeare's Hamlet, in which Hamlet questions what a man is.  He says:

Hamlet:

What a piece of work is a man, how noble in reason, how

infinite in faculties, in form and moving how express and

admirable, in cation how like an angel, in apprehension how like

a god! The beauty of the world, the paragon of animals--and yet,

to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Man delights not me--

nor woman neither, though by your smiling you seem to say so

Rosencrantz:

My lord, there was no such stuff in my thoughts.

Hamlet explores that man is the best thing God created, with angel-like actions and god-like understanding.  Yet, man is not enough to impress Hamlet (this last part has more to do with Hamlet's issues in the play, and not the definition of man. So, in short, what can be learned from this is that man is amazing.)

Then, a friend and reader of mine sent me a very helpful lead.  He sent me "If" by Rudyard Kipling.  This poem is great.

IF

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream---and not make dreams your master;
If you can think---and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:.
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings---nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And---which is more---you'll be a Man, my son! 

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/if/ 

According to Kipling, becoming a man involves a great deal of maturity and control.  This was possibly the most useful source so far.  Thank you Bradley! 

Finally, I found a meme dealing with the definition of man.

"What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets!" 

is said by Dracula in a Castlevania video game.  It became popular because of the over-the-top voice acting.  I found no help in this for my project, except the knowledge that

a) the definition of man is still a part of modern thought today, and
b) not all definitions are positive and/or optimistic

So.  It's about time I end this post.  this is what I've got so far.  I have some recommendations and an idea of where to look  next.  However, if you would like to help along the way, remember that the comment box and my email inbox are always open for you!  Thanks for sticking with me so far.  Stay tuned for Exposition II.

What Is a Man? - Prelude

Recently my dear friend Voguemind published a post that has provoked a lot of thought in me. You should read it. It's profoundness transcends beyond that of ordinary blog posts.

http://voguemind.blogspot.com/2012/07/mans-world-attempt-2.html

Now. After having read this at around 11 PM the other night, I went to sleep. Then I began to dream. Usually, my dreams don't have a scrap of comprehensibility, but this one flowed coherently. My dream explored what kind of husband and father I would be. And because of this dream, I have been thinking about what it means to be a man. How should manhood be defined?

So I have decided to make this a research project. I will painstakingly analyze different sources on what a man should look like, and I will report it back to you, my reader(s).

(Follow my blog, guys! I don't know who all I'm talking to!!!)

Oh! And should you want to help me in this quest, the comment option is below, and my email address has not change